| Friday, June 23, 2006 |
| Peter's Ghost |
Peter's ghost walks by us as we scream into the hallway;
My face dark as a hurricane, Your hands on my shoulders.
His body lies not half a mile from here, resting in the saturated loam.
Red lipstick is ridiculous in situations such as this; What mottled sense could such a clownlike mouth emit?
disembodied Peter, he would understand
He must have felt this kind of thing before like broke glass cackling in the crass purse of the sternum.
His ghost does not appear to me, perfect and powdery. He doesn't visualize en seance; His is not a vulgar spirit,
But active nonetheless.
And he must know that I also can understand to toss one's perfect body down before a train might not seem mad
When all that you can hear when no one's talking is the looping, furious rustling of the tracks.
(June 8, 2006) |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 10:03 AM   |
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| My love |
is not agreeable; The body rejects or assimilates infiltrators, and the soul mirrors with silly, cadet eagerness.
There is loss of blood with or without incision. Then there is the will, evaporating, short glass of water left in the sun.
There is a restlessness, veiled in domesticity, which saps and curdles, which curls the toes, which drags out the odd night and hangs it by the neck til it is Dead Dead Dead,
but also can possess my body, urging tightwire acrobatics in the tar of early morning. The face becomes beautiful, The heart beats cleanly.
And exorcism leaves me sleek and cool and breathing hard; sick child whose fever does not break, but shatters. |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 10:02 AM   |
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| Horror Story |
My God. My God. Even now he is here, he is watching, he is pulling at my hair! And before him, before them all, there was something else. There was always something.
There is a bowl of furrowed roses on the top shelf. Dash it to the floorboards, Hurl the phone against the wall: A burst of slimy water, glass, gears.
Fat clots of noise.
Am I happy or unhappy watching your ribcage pulse in the perfect rhythms of sleep? You've left me here. You cannot witness.
I was brought up fearing silence. Your lashes flutter in the blue.
(March 27, 2006) |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 10:01 AM   |
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| Surge |
The winter is collapsing under the weight of its own liquefying corpus
Once you flipped me over with the deftness of a farmhand shifting bales
Once, sweat like a gambler with a dead hand as you held me fixed, hiding my blooming face in the pillow..
The breeze fans gentle on the rooftops, smoking chimneys, spires
I saw a crocus split the salted soil. I seen birds flying in circles.
(February 28th, 2006) |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 10:00 AM   |
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| Heat |
Itch I cannot scratch Wildfire in the Heartland And all things, now: prodding reminders.
Two baby dykes kiss on the buckled sofa in a back bar on Duck Island The short hair straddling the long. The long cupping her cherished ass.
Bodies moving in the music.
And me, nursing my drink tenderly Thinking of your hands, your fingers, tongue and bolt. Me, wrenching my sweet, shuddering thighs together.
An American flag waves stiffly in a bitter wall of wind.
(February 12, 2006) |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 10:00 AM   |
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| Filth |
I moved into a room in your buddy's squat flat I had found a cheap mattress, and a man helped me carry it down the cobblestones.
My mother gave me a pot and two pans, her blessing.
I cleaned on my knees and vacuumed, slim hips wiggling The morning I graduated, we fucked with tenderness and you told me a secret
Now you stay the weekends, sleeping late under the torn mosquito net. In the kitchen, small flies orbit rotting fruit Dust cakes the corners of the living room. It smells. We never raise our voices.
When you're gone, your friend masturbates, door open a crack, watching me.
(Jan 21, 2006) |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 9:59 AM   |
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| Complex |
I think there is a reason I don’t dream beside you;
I might you as you are not as you ought to be.
Your arms become the clasp of a jagged banana clip.
The ceiling of our bedroom, a watery blue mirror,
smoking cherry in the middle.
And like burning Rome, smoldering Carthage, something hot is chewing at the baseboards
of the world we built together. I can feel it now, dreaming, I would even see it: wallpaper peeling like an orange, I would sip the acrid fog.
You’re very tall for a Bonaparte I’m so young for a Josephine And the sky is too warring a yellow to be good and real.
(January 2006) |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 9:59 AM   |
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| Emergency |
The doorways are wreathed wiry lights and debauched glass, melting and streaming
So history repeats itself, thinking nobody’s listening
and so your gorgeous blood must spill, on the white blanket the paramedic gave you when he strapped you to the gurney He caps the sample, wipes your skin.
In the grey bombast of the morning an idiot sun creeps towards the middle.
Two winters past in The theater lot, breath plush as a bleating lamb, heels kicking against asphalt,
I found you in the heavy lights drunk with shock
you had caressed my face and said my love. You didn’t even know my name again yet.
(December 05, 2005) |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 9:58 AM   |
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| Born Again Virgin |
You scratched against my door so lightly, I might have took it for a tree branch grating siding.
When I heard your voice for the second time I let you in, I let you go to town. Like a fat man rummaging his ice box late at night, you were not sure exactly what you had a taste for. Floured breast, glazed ribs.
And I was mute, could hardly move. My hide glowed in the minced light.
In your big arms, it came rushing back, and, in your thick hunger, you devoured it, peice of cake.
(November 2005) |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 9:57 AM   |
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| Luxury |
I eat my dinners on the wood chair in the kitchen, arms plaited, oven slapped open and glowing
the coy warmth streaming on my skin.
He and I nestle closer than we did before and sleep the sightless sleep of yoked unborn;
in the mornings I barricade myself in mansions of sheets and miss class.
Now the man in charge has come and flipped the switch; the place smells of dust and steam and church,
the radiators hissing like sliced bulls, snorting like pistons,
the hot air rushing joyous through the black gilled pipes.
(November 27, 2005) |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 9:57 AM   |
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| O |
When all one's ever known is life, the end seems strange,
contrived and ersatz, plastic.
Oh, I've seen the boneyards,
one in NYC spreading out for miles in clumsy hillocks
an undulating clear of stone, synthetic flowers, dapper flags,
and across the sea, where they stack them ten feet high, bring white carnations and sugared water, and etch their faces into china:
the belle epoch toddler in the sailor collar,
the twentysomething with long hair and petroleum shades, cast from his hog into a levee,
and the scotchtaped photo of your husband
who's been missing for two years now.
You're sitting at the station waiting for the same train, watching the dust mingle with the wildflowers and biting your lip.
(November 15, 2005) |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 9:57 AM   |
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| Ninny |
When I was six, Grandmother gave me a gold ring, a tiny snake with emerald eyes and a pin prick of a tongue.
I lost it in the petting zoo as the peacocks howled above us and the caged goats wolfed our day-old bread.
Next summer she got me another, identical: that one slipped from my finger in the wet lace of the waves.
What else?
A flash of blood on wet porcelain!
The shower doused it away as I shook off the fall, wiped the red off my thighs.
Years later, infiltrated by a graceless ache and three odd seconds of paralysis but not a tear, and not one drop of blood.
I’ve lost something else along the way— great yet massless, invisible and delicate..
Shook it off in a fit or shed it without note like a scarf on a cabseat;
Segments green in the brine, (tongued by the sand)
dull in the buzzed grass,
and sully our sheets.
(October 28, 2005) |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 9:56 AM   |
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| Motherland |
You do not forget, it doesn’t fall out your brain like the dimes that two cent magician snatched from my little ear.
But the image changes, softens, plush in its overripeness and with a faint, familiar sourness: Low tide? A new mother’s curdling bosom?
Force of habit, repetition, and the erotic sublime swarm like shrieking birds.
no surrender there, only a raw-boned, slow, barefaced defeat.
Nor will this carnelian fall rob your gaze and thumb your thoughts like an open rolodex; The glowing hell of winter will only bring you closer: no distractions.
Like a recurring dream going out of syndication, like grainy frames of film bloated, tarnished half exposed to the light but clean enough yet to make out two dozen figures and a wheat-haired landscape.
(September 28, 2005) |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 9:55 AM   |
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| Grotta Verde |
At a green club strung with lights and plastered with bills, where the young people rode down from the city to dance
Through the noise of the sea pealing and retreating, klaxons and bicycle horns, and the buzz of motorbikes. The smell of cologne milling through the air, they met.
They fell in love, as people do and set up in a two bedroom apartment She worked as a seamstress He worked at a factory At twelve thirty everyday he came home to a full table and to her.
Ordinary people, loud, good-natured; They argued and made love: Two children came of it.
The days went by, drained bottles from a seemingly endless reserve.
Years later, a fresh widow, she rides back to the city on the public bus. She looks out at the fields, the bright lights, people, the muted skyline;
the offal which remains, a grand, belieing opulence,
it's closing in: devours her. |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 9:55 AM   |
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| Thaw |
Beyond the stiff, glazed branches, now weeping without restraint,
and the telephone wires, crossing in a long cat’s cradle over the brackish street below, a virile sun prevails, kissing the cheek of this blocked and unhappy town.
Cars buried in black-marbled ice emerge like excavated fossils, perfectly preserved and beaded with frost after two weeks of ceaseless snow,
dark streams course downhill dredging twigs and grit, dirt and oil
Peoples’ faces appear framed in windows. They open their doors hesitant but leave home forgetting hats and gloves, the calendar date, closing their eyes to the warm breeze caressing their bare throats and hands.
(December 31, 2004) |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 9:54 AM   |
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| Small Girl in Gold Moccasins |
Standing behind a Colorado adobe, or is it the waning, painted yellow of a continental summer house,
Her head is down turned, eyes look left as the flash catches her through the healthy, stalking twilight.
Her hands are not and shall not be at rest from this vague four until her day of death; but here they lie, subdued, clasping one another like terrified sisters.
The breeze that whispers through nearby branches, the tall grass, smoothes her hair, weathering the calm of this second's pose.
All bears witness, all insinuates: the naked soil beneath the cement walk she stands upon, her plain blue dress, her halting step, the golden leather of her baby shoes,
the very air, the black whirr of the camera rewinding.
(December 18, 2003) |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 9:53 AM   |
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| Irene |
Irene was a strange one, a pretty and primitive thing. At 18, in what I called her Wedding Daguerrotype she peered, tentative, behind strands of river pearls, a white wing of a dress.
And then, demure at 28, with an angular jaw, and temples already sagging a little bit.
I'd skipped careless over 200 year old graves, the high grasses in the family plot while they tore a hole in the iron-black loam and set down an urn, her jostled ash;
then we'd driven off, the flat land green and almost callow, the breeze paralyzed, the even horizon the end of a line.
For her it was over long before. At 45, an old woman already, with a fallen face; at 80, half-dead and smiling over the red-stained rim of a Styrofoam cup. |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 9:52 AM   |
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| Augustine, for Elizabeth Smart |
Small and blonde, slight, pigtailed, she smiles offhand into the flashes, point of focus dissolving.
Maiden drawn into a shore of salt. Virgin, plural wife, fey contradiction:
From what mountains were you chiseled, rosy sphinx? What hands formed you, warmed you, gave second birth to you as these nine months came to?
Her father calls to her from within the snapping crowd; father calls her, ’Stay close, Elizabeth!’ She is good, She is good, smiling at him with eyes as dull as dated razors. He tells Gentlemen of the Press she "left a child, returned a woman."
And in tomorrow's headline photos her face smarts; she hides behind the black rim of her coat, useless hands lovely at rest,
dry storms beneath her modest coif, pounding against that Mormon temple.
(March 2003) |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 9:51 AM   |
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| Circling |
As the wheels of the plane extend and whir, trembling with metal anticipation, I rest my face to the window. My heart beats with the blind irregularity of the engine's changing gears; look past to see
the dark green fields molded with goldenrod, Boxy housing projects half-built, nude at the lip of a woods.
A minute more, and closer still, the captain's voice is grainy and inaudible; I can feel already your hands in my hair.
And the mild turquoise of suburban pools stares upwards. Lakes tired with murk lie flat and turbid. Familiar patterns in the landscapes are overlapping
as the near arms of the city close in on the land.
(Fall 2003) |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 9:51 AM   |
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| A June Death |
One June
The winds blowing in from the bay
Market sellers carting crates onto trucks
as the crowds thin.
When turning the palisade I caught the tigered form of a cat heaving on the asphalt,
a parked car beside it, a man kneeling to the gravel his hands kneading his brow.
I halted, ran forth. touched its upraised back "It's going," said the man
Beneath the waving the junipers,
its face parted in a cleaved slant, curdled protest welled inside its throat.
Bells chimed, the hour Changed
The cat convulsed and turned away its split face
hissing its breath and braiding its muscles
as the clouds above broke and the pleasant breeze smoothed its reddened coat,
and quit struggling
leaving surrendered fur and bone and muscle warm on the street, its blood on my hands.
(2003)(Revised: 2007) |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 9:50 AM   |
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| The Room |
You show me in, turn on the lamp at the corner You take my coat, drape it on a chair
Shelves of books, photographs of you as a boy, blond and slender garnish the walls; Vents slit with a thin heat, the wind presses glass to the sill.
I sit on your bed, legs crossed, pulling threads at my sleeve. I sigh. You touch the small of my back with worker's hands. I do not move, but outside, trees sway in the gale, windows go dark. It is late night. The air cracks with understanding
Wordless I slip off shoes and stockings; I twist off the backs of my earrings, long brass flowers. Your hand covers mine.
The night gleams mute and ardent beyond the starched blinds. Snow salts the black lawns in the neighborhood. Outside, a car skids on water. A dog howls in the distance.
(2003) |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 9:49 AM   |
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| Almar |
Combed like that, your hair pinned like a black pyramid against the darkened violet of a Cleveland skyline, softened with wax outlines, clever lights that come and go with the flow of cars that twist and turn from drive to drive,
You were go |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 9:49 AM   |
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| Bicisport |
Like the drum of wasps in fluorescent dumpsters with the swelling of the summer, the honed and honeyed noise of bees, late spring, as things begin to lose their color
the television pavement, black as soles, becomes alive, a line for wasp-waist men in plastic shirts and caps to dive upon, like slender suicides.
And I think of my father, portrait of father as a young man: sundance kid mustache, lacoste shirt, Resto del Carlino in his vein less hands, standing behind my mother who holds their dark-haired baby in her own dark hands.
The television runners swerve and swarm, and I begin to understand my father: his selfishness, his folly, his attractiveness to his mother, Parents-In-Law, and my mother.
He, sweating and making miles on the roadside, his legs shaved, yellow polythene hatcap fastened to his dark-haired head, while she slaved off under the same white sun, cleaning shit and cooking dinner
While he was off making miles on the roadside on the thin-frame bicicletta, legs shaved, back arched, sweat on his brow and his thin heart a concentrated burning, glowing and uneven diamond.
(2002) |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 9:48 AM   |
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| Luca |
Was it the summer they did the repairs on the Marina? The yellowed morning glories, tasseled in the afternoon bloodbath of waxing sun and noise pollution, pressed hand-like to the metal cranes, loving, drunken, like one frail human hand reaching blindly for another.
Was it that summer or that before? The summer the sun lay splayed on the water in the vaguest danger of drowning, in my eyes can't you read the answer? In my unchanged palm?
When bottles rolled against the piers, like cigarette paper, in afternoons gone dark as ashes. When the following breeze would sweeten with the smell of pink, brocaded flesh; killed crab, dead in the water. When the image of you, the flower of first passion, took germ in my brain.
I remember well the way the night softened the place, the way I slipped off my sandals and ran my feet through mat grass, rough with salt, where ten years ago a carnival had hitched its metal poles.
I had run amongst pyramids of sand, tall as monsters the thick horizon gasping and grasping for the morning And your form in the dark As you stood at the car door: The most beautiful silhouette.
But now I've forgotten, And so I forget you.
(2000) |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 9:47 AM   |
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| Paris, 1950. A Fiction |
I.
The yellow leaves and fronds of Paris late September, snap around the soles of leathered feet, and dirty waters graying ever as a head of fifty-year-old hair gush bloodily at banks. The young brides throw bouquets from church steps under faint showers of rice, white flowers which bloom and die in the scented and decaying air of summer’s last stand,
white bouquets of colored flowers in rice paper wrappings, and young brides whose unveined feet turn so lightly on the Paris palisades, wear dressing pads that make their shoulders big;
In a café far from Deux Magots and the long closed Jockey, far from Champs Elysees, the baggy, brown silk dresses of ‘24, Twenty five, Twenty six, from black pearls, promiscuity, youth and good-looks, I find a chair and sit, unwrap a sandwich.
II.
Ekaterina, Feodora, Margarita, Margosha, Marina, Marinochka: gone with the golden chandeliers, the wine fountains, I can hardly recall, as I was young then;
Dead or alive, flung to all corners of the continent, the world after Ekaterinsburg, when I turned 18 cut my hair to a halt, and left Petrograd with shorter skirts, mother, and the pedigree whelps.
But no politics here, I must seem as bleak now as an Eisenstein mother, shot in the belt as my worth, as my baby, plummets steps, and an eyeglass is shattered;
but of course from a different perspective, and the rich always land on their feet, yes? But I fell on my back, in the clamor of Paris, and was never a bride and never bore bastards, and now I am fifty.
III.
Little girl, why do you look at me? little blonde girl, with the sailor dress look the other way; it is not polite to stare, doesn’t your mother tell you, she’s standing there next to you, she has blonde hair, like you, but hers is yellow, hers is dyed.
I cannot be so very ugly as to warrant your distraction. Won’t you let me sit at peace And not look while I eat?
While in fact, as a child, I was called a beauty, I had a retrousee nose and hair to my waist in that same tired blonde as yours.
For I can see it all now, clear as whenever these drab cottons, and patterns are but the core of the organdy shell of a gown which I wore when I bowed with lauded grace to the grace of a Tsar.
(2000) |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 9:47 AM   |
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| One Night, Next to a River |
The night was black, black was her hair as she sat there, in the dark at half past ten in his car.
The river beside them was black as well, as was the ground and the sky; but there were stars in that black that shone like the headlights of his car, which was also white.
And she was wearing a white dress that fell tight over her body, her tight muscles, her shoulders and the arc of her breasts which the sun had bathed and turned the skin dark But not black
And he looked at her there, through the gauze of the air, thick with the smoke of stars, then moved closer, moved in,
and that's as it happened: with his face turned askew, with her neck bent towards the window and her eyes on the sky.
(1999) |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 9:46 AM   |
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| Euripides |
You are reading Euripides, in broken english, sounding out the thicker words with your soft, pappy mouth. You are leaning against the side of the boat, your hand fingering the brine, the page's yellow edge.
She is watching you, as your black hair coarsens and parts in the wan sirocco, thick as a pound of tar And then those eyes of painted glass. A sigh.
It doesn't matter where you came from. It doesn't matter when you were born.
She is 12 years old, her skin is like new leather and her dark blonde hair is shining; She wants you to pull her dress over her head, to blacken her pelvis,
to marry your soft mouth to hers on the ancient, blazing hard-grained parterre of the shoreline.
(2000) |
posted by rebeccacalvetti @ 9:45 AM   |
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| About Me |
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Name: rebeccacalvetti
Home: Cleveland, Ohio, United States
About Me: I got brunette hair which goes dirty blonde under the sun. I have green eyes and am not particularly short or tall. People who have seen me in a two-piece or less say I have fine decolletage.
See my complete profile
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